Oxy Moron, Contributor

A local tabloid recently noted a rise in the number of broken daggers in Jamaica. Doctors are saying that it is as a result of the rapid way in which these daggers are being used.

The situation is rather sad because in addition to the broken pockets and spirits that the owners of these daggers have, they must now contend with their broken daggers.

But, if The Driver is to have his way, these broken daggerers may have some relief. Help is on the way.

The Driver recently expressed his concern that every Saturday and Sunday, people were being buried with organs that could be recycled. In essence, the dead could save the life of the living and, by extension, the living dead.

No scarcity

For in the interest of fair play, and equal opportunity, the list of organs must not include hearts, livers and kidneys only. Daggers must be added too, in light of the present plight.

More so, there is no scarcity of daggers, as the number of young men who are interred each weekend far outstrips that of young women.

Many wholesome daggers are going to the grave, while broken ones are left on Earth to be humiliated.

So whatever it takes, The Driver should expedite the 'proposal'.

Yet, there are going to be some complications. For the owners of broken daggers who want them replaced will be in a dilemma to find one that is compatible with his complexion, body type and lifestyle.

Now, as soon as he hears of a dead, he must go to look to see whether the daggers match.

Just imagine how frustrating it would be to go through that embarrassment only to find out the dagger is too big or small, too long or too short, too black, too brown or too white.

Storage bank

To prevent the running up and down, there could be a bank where the daggers are stored. The affected would then go and make a choice. If he cannot find one, then he has to wait until someone with whom he's compatible dies.

He cannot make a hurried decision. He must make sure that whatever he chooses is not chosen because it can enhance his deflated ego, because it will look very odd.

One thing he doesn't want his spouse to ask in astonishment is, "Whose dagger is that! And why is it so pointed?"

oxydmoron@gmail.com.