Dear Counsellor:

I have a fear of public speaking. I am interested in getting some tips to help me with my work.

- Jean

Dear Jean:

All professionals have to deliver presentations, lead discussions or meet other professionals in formal settings. Our ability to hold conversations is important to our success in the workplace.

There are many books on public speaking. Go to your nearest bookshop and ask for a related text. You can also order a book on the Internet.

Many people are too shy and timid to speak up in a group or before an audience. The anxiety levels tend to get high before a performance. This performance anxiety can be treated with medication and cognitive-behaviour therapy.

There are several techniques or tactics that you can use to calm your fears. Some people worry that they may say something foolish or stutter. Tell yourself that everything will go well, take deep breaths between expressions, maintain a positive attitude and hope for the best. Think positively at all times.

Experienced individuals will tell you that things do happen but you have to act as if you are in total control and deal positive with any mishap.

Speak with friends and family members. Tape your speeches and listen to them. Practise speaking in standard English and it will not be difficult when you are called on to make presentations. Make a rough draft of your speech, then edit.

Remember that some speeches need a strong emotional component. Some speeches are inspirational, some motivational, others informative. Think of the issues that will interest the audience. Keep current with your newspapers, TV and cable. Use your dictionary and thesaurus to help you choose words effectively.

Reading, writing and speaking go together. Therefore, be a good writer and practise speaking well.

Dear Counsellor:

My mother is drinking alcohol heavily and cannot function at home. She goes to the bar in the evenings and comes home drunk. She is single and has two children. Mom was divorced some years ago and my father is remarried. We are grown children and my mother lives alone. Is my mother depressed?

- Marie

Dear Marie:

It is unfortunate that your mother is using alcohol to cope with life's problems. Many people cope with challenges by consuming large volumes of alcohol for a numbing escape. Life is stressful, so we need to assess our own needs and take proper action to deal with the issues.

Do you have an older aunt or uncle who could speak with your mother? Take her to see a psychiatrist as she seems to be depressed. Her children should get together and have a talk with her.

Loneliness is a problem for many elderly people. Your mother can become active in her church and her community so that she can meet new faces and get involved in projects. The elderly need to find something to occupy them because they will get lonely and sad.

Hold a family meeting and make plans. Many people are not aware that their drinking is a big problem. You also need to pray about it.

Are you or your family facing serious emotional problems? Well, Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson is here to help. Call her at 978-8602 or email yvonniebd@hotmail.com.