Heather Little-White, Contributor
You would consider yourself unfortunate if your Valentine's Day date was spoiled by your Valentine's inappropriate or embarrassing behaviour. Annetteis still shocked at the way her prospective mate behaved when he took her to a fine restaurant of her choice.
From the get go, she had to insist that reservations be made and he could not see why it was so important. When he picked her up, he attempted to plant a deep-throat kiss on her and she had to let him know that the friendship had not reached that level yet.
At dinner, Annette said she was totally embarrassed by her date's lack of etiquette and social graces. He did not know how to use his napkin, and he could only use a fork to eat! She was so turned off that she declined to go dancing afterwards as was planned. Upset, he drove her home, dropped her at her gate and drove off, without ensuring that she was safely inside. According to Annette, "he is one prospective partner that I will not miss."
Play by the rules
Dates can either make or break your prospects of finding the right life partner. It is important to get ready for love and dates can be successful if you play by the rules and know what to do to charm someone new.
Romance
You may want to add some romance to your dating relationship to prevent it from falling into the rut of day-to-day living. Take note of what your partner likes. When he or she mentions a romantic idea in a conversation, make a note of it on a 'private romantic idea wish list. Revert to the list when you want to get romantic, to show how much you care. The list is only a starting point. Pay attention to your partner's actions and conversations so you can cater to romantic needs and cravings.
Sex can wait
A date does not mean sex. Sex too early in a dating relationship may lead to unplanned consequences. Relationship experts advise couples to take a cautious approach to engaging in sex on a date. The advice is to wait as long as you can and ensure that you are happy with other aspects of the relationship. You may engage in sex too early, only to discover that you do not like your mate as a lifelong partner.
Prospective partners should spend time talking about where they see their relationship going and how early to engage in sex, as it could change the nature of the relationship. It is important to establish physical and emotional boundaries. Cheryl McClary, PhD, professor at the University of North Carolina, advises that part of the dating rules for couples is to ensure that the brain, heart and genitals are in conjunction before engaging in sex. If you want to engage in a one-night relationship, this should be clearly discussed. Safe-sex practices should also be discussed.
Sense of purpose
The person searching for love should be self-actualised. That is, have traits which include an appreciation of beauty, a sense of purpose, welcoming the unknown, inner-directness, independence, a good opinion of others and the absence of a compelling need to exert control over others. This is according to Wayne Dyer, writing in Wisdom of the Ages.
In dating, Dyer suggests that you "let the soul of those you love receive your attention, and while you're at it, do yourself a favour and let your own soul clap its hands and receive your applause. Love yourself as God does, for yourself alone."
Name changed to protect individual's privacy.