Jamaica Gleaner News - Doctor's advice - Hernia affecting their sex life - Sunday

Q. Doctor, I am having a serious problem with my relationship of 12 years, which started in 1996. In 2004, I noticed that my partner had an enlarged scrotum. He was around 33 at the time.

I spoke to him about it on many occasions, but he just kept saying that he was all right. However, eventually, I managed to insist that he go to a doctor.

The doc told him that he had 'a scrotal hernia'. He gave my partner a letter to go to the hospital to have it treated. Unfortunately, he did not go, simply because he was afraid of surgery.

He still refuses to see the surgeon. Sadly, this problem of the swelling is affecting our sex life. Most of the time, he doesn't want to have sex with me, because it pains him. Whenever I do persuade him to have intercourse, it is just for a few minutes.

So, I am not getting much sex these days. Doctor, I don't want to cheat on him, but I feel he is forcing me to do so. What is your advice?

A. Well, I definitely don't advise you to cheat on him. I think that would only make matters worse, although I appreciate that you are really frustrated.

Let's look at the medical facts. This guy has a big bulge in his scrotum. From what you say, it seems to be uncomfortable, even painful. It appears that this lump is making him reluctant to have sex. And he is refusing to go to a surgeon about it.

From a health point of view, his attitude is simply asking for trouble! A hernia, which is the same thing as a rupture, can cause serious complications if it is left untreated. For instance, it can become what they call 'strangulated'. That means that its blood supply may become cut off, so that it develops gangrene. That can KILL the person.

Apart from the dangers to his health, your partner is putting his relationship with you at great risk. It seems like your mutual sex life is destroyed because of this lump in his groin. However, there may be other factors I do not know about.

Failure to get his hernia dealt with is risking his health and is proving disastrous for his sex life and his relationship with you. Please show him my answer, and see what he says.

If he will not get this problem sorted out, I fear that you must think seriously about whether your relationship with him has any future.

Q.Doctor, my wife and I are now both around 60, and we still have a great sex life together. Will it be possible for us to go on enjoying this till we are quite old?

A. Yes, certainly - provided that you both maintain your good health. These days, there are plenty of people who enjoy a good love-life until far into their 70s, or even 80s!

Q. I enjoy reading your column, because it is informative. Anyway, to the matter in hand! I am female, and last Monday morning I woke up feeling pain in my privates. This got worse when I started to walk. In the evening, I decided to shave myself - which I do regularly. I always use a mirror for this, and when I looked in it I realised that the lips of my vagina were red and swollen. They are also painful when touched. I am wondering if this is due to an insect bite? Or could it be an allergy or infection? Also, I am wondering if when I did my previous shave, I might have cut myself?

A. This sounds very much like an infection. My best guess is that you cut yourself the previous week while shaving, and germs have got inside the wound.

Many women shave themselves these days, but it is important to realise that shaving can cause little cuts - and that germs can use these nicks as entrances to your body.

If you still have the slightest pain, tenderness or swelling in this area, go to a doc right away. She will examine you, and probably prescribe antibiotics. I am sure that all will be well, but please do not delay. Also, it would be a good idea to avoid shaving for a while.

Q. Dear Doctor, I am having a very stressful time. From about 2005 when I started smoking, I notice that I keep losing weight. In fact, over the last three years, I must have lost 20 pounds, and my waist has come down from 36 inches to 32. Could this be due to marijuana? Or could it be something more serious?

A. I think you should give up marijuana, because the side effects are now known to be more serious than was once thought. From your email, I get the impression that you also smoke tobacco. You should also try to give that up - because the long-term health risks are really bad.

Smoking does tend to reduce people's appetites slightly, but would not make you lose 20 pounds. There are many possible reasons why a person could lose that amount of weight without meaning to. They include stress, diabetes, thyroid trouble, worms and even cancer.

So I really think that you should now go to a doctor and ask him or her to examine you in order to determine the cause of this weight loss. Blood tests will probably be necessary. Good luck.

Q. I am a 44-year-old guy, and I drink around six cans of beer every night. Is this too much, Doc?

A. Yes, it certainly is. It is not good for your health to drink more than about two cans a night.

Q. I am puzzled by the fact that when I discharge inside my wife, she does not discharge at the same time. I do not have much experience of sex, Doc, but she does. I am wondering if there is something wrong with her?

A. No, there is nothing wrong with her. Like many males, you have not realised that the vast majority of ladies CANNOT discharge from intercourse alone. They need some stimulation of the clitoris if they are to orgasm. Ask your wife to show you how to do this with your fingertips.

Q. I am a 27-year-old male, and I urinate very often. I go twice an hour, and also four or five times per night. My girlfriend and I were recently tested for chlamydia, but the results were negative. What do you think is wrong, Doc?

A. My first thought is diabetes ('sugar'). In Jamaica, that is the commonest cause of a guy having to pass urine frequently. You should go to a doc and get fully tested for 'sugar'. She will probably want to do other tests for gland and kidney disorders.

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