Robinson

Somehow, a mini-domino game was convened the day before exams.

In the morning, our Latin exam was scheduled for 9 a.m. but Autry and I had yet to open the 'set' book, Virgil's Aeneid. Our study system, founded on the principle "study early, forget early", called for all studying to be done the day before the exam.

As we were about to open Virgil, Dessie arrived with The Dunce in tow. "You boys want a domino game?"

"Sorry," I tried, "we have exams tomorrow."

"Exams?" snorted The Dunce, unusually lucid "Wha dat good fa? Me never pass one yet and me a'right!"

"That's because your ambition is to walk foot and kick stone. We have bigger plans."

Laughter nearly choked The Dunce, "Oonu? Plans? What plans? Oonu a go t'un lawya and dacta?" (uncontrollable giggling) "listen, exam is foolishness. A little domino can't hurt. What's de worse can 'appen? Suppose oonu fail de exam? Yu nuh hear whey Doris Day sey, Que Sera, Sera. An' me sey, If a Macka mek it jook yu ..."

Dessie was already shuffling "Come nuh" he pleaded, "Yu 'fraid? I've debts to pay so my table set wit'out knife and fork. My stakes serve wit'out gravy!"

Exam obligations

At that psychological moment, Winehead (schoolboy nicknames often ended with "... head", after a creative prefix describing shape or proclivity) turned up. He was not a regular player but could sniff out opportunities to idle better than Top Cat so, sans any exam obligations, he swiftly surveyed the scene, immediately grasped the plot and gleefully added more peer pressure. Eventually we sat down against Dessie and The Dunce. Well, even partnered by a platoon of The Dunce/Winehead, Dessie slaughtered us and it was midnight before we gave up chasing our losses.

"Study time," Autry reminded. And that's when Winehead had the great idea "Let's go crabbing!". The next thing I knew, we were driving to Jackson Bay to catch crabs. On arrival, I, whose big toe was grabbed by a crab at age six, bagged the lookout job and spent the adventure safely on the bonnet (with flashlight) shouting "CRAB! CRAB!" whenever one appeared.

Our impressive haul was one crab that promptly died on the way back. Upon reaching my home at dawn, from a distance, Autry thought he saw a ghoul outside the house, hurriedly discharged mee and bolted in a howl of squealing tyres. As it turned out, it was only my mother, who (fully dressed for sleep in nightie and face cream) was pacing the night away.

What could I do? A shower and quick change later, I arrived at the appointed place at 8:45. Autry had brought Virgil's Aeneid with him. "Geego" he said, "We really need to know only one paragraph of Virgil. We still have time to study one. You pick!" I had nothing better so I closed my eyes and picked. Of course, that very paragraph appeared on the exam. We earned distinc-tions and were hailed throughout the school as exemplary students.

Assessment

Forty years later Jamaica still relies dispropor-tionately on exams to assess students' knowledge. Students are more securely imprisoned in this colonial system than ever before what with the Grade Four Achievement Test; GSAT; CXC; CAPE and, at the University of the West Indies, it's advanced hide-and-seek time where lecturers host "Who-wants-to-know-what's-coming-on-the-exam" like a TV game show. Exams make or break students' futures. No wonder they become so stressed out that some can't sit the exam, others become physically ill, others just plain cheat.

"According to the education you get when you small, you will grow up with true ambition and respect from one and all.

But, in my days in school, they teach me like a fool. The things they teach me

I should be a blockheaded mule!"

(Slinger Francisco)

In that exam room I learnt that The Dunce was right. Exams assess nothing. I've lived that lesson all my life. As an employer, I tested job applicants by conversation on varied topics not on the impression created by résumés. As a father, I refuse to become excited or depressed by my sons' exam results.

Exams are based on the principle that students must show the examiner what they know but education only occurs the other way around. Teachers must show students what they know. No student truly 'fails' any exam, teachers do.

Young Andrew Holness is showing signs of being our best education minister ever. Will he radically overhaul our education system and insist on a change in teacher attitudes? Let's see.

Peace and Love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to column@gleanerjm.com.