The anticipation of the imminent arrival of a newborn child is one of the most beautiful feelings a woman can have. It is the hope of most to be become a mother. A pregnancy might not always be planned, but by the time the baby starts kicking inside you, there is an inexplicable excitement. One guesses who he or she will look like and, for the most part, your visions of the future are positive. You think to yourself, "I am going to adore this baby. Everything is going to be perfect."

Imagine your shock, however, when you get home from the hospital with your bundle of joy, and you are miserable? "Oh my goodness," you think to yourself, "why am I so down? Why can't I connect with my baba? Why am I not ecstatic about him or her being in my life?"

I have several friends who have suffered from postnatal depression. They did not recognise, during the period of it, that this is what was happening, but some of them saw it for what it was after the fact. Postnatal depression, also known as 'baby blues' or postpartum depression (PPD), is 'a mood disorder that begins after childbirth and usually lasts beyond six weeks.' (http://medical-dictionary.thefree dictionary.com/Postnatal+depression)

Unfortunately, there is a stigma on the above term. As a result, people do not want to admit to themselves, or others, that they have this illness. More than four years ago, Brooke Shields spoke out on the Oprah Winfrey Show about her condition. A heated and greatly publicised word war ensued between her and Tom Cruise, whose Scientology beliefs cause him to scorn psychiatry. As with most things that affect the rich and famous, postpartum depression was now in the spotlight.

Depending on how you look at it, this was great news for mothers who had experienced, were experiencing, or would experience it. The ball of discussion had started to roll, and it gave people a chance to express themselves in the open. Of course, there are still those who refuse to face the truth, which is unfortunate. This state of depression, as with all types of depression, I'm sure, is a very lonely place to be. Women may be ashamed to speak out, but it's not healthy to keep these emotions bottled in.

Having had a baby this year, I now possess a 'visa' to go to baby groups, and the knowledge to discuss, with some authority, parenthood! It turns out that the gatherings we have is not so much for the babies to play, but more for the mothers to talk about everything they are going through - the good, the bad and the ugly! I have been fortunate. I have felt wonderful about my little family since bringing our baby home nearly six months ago. The three-way bond, between our wee chap, my husband and me, is strong and precious. I am privileged to enjoy such harmony and I have not taken it for granted at any moment. I do, however, have plenty of time for my new friends and their demons of depression, and would like to help them get through the bad and the ugly!

Postnatal depression

I think you'd be surprised to learn who in your circle has been afflicted with postnatal depression but please, don't shy away from them if you notice that something's not quite right. Ask these women how they are feeling. Let them know that it's okay to be frustrated or sad. Listen to them as they begin to open up. No matter how slow the process is, don't interrupt with your stories. Once they've spoken out, then you can share what you know or feel. If you want to give them advice, then tell them that there is nothing shameful about having 'baby blues'.

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