Jamaica Gleaner
Published: Monday | October 12, 2009
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Is my three-year-old developing too slowly?

Q. My daughter is three years old but I think she is behind in her learning and social activities. She goes to day care but does not seem as active as the other children. What should I do?

A. All children develop at their own pace. At three, some basic things she should be doing are separating from you easily and taking turns in games. She should also be turning book pages one at a time and holding a pencil in the writing position. Your daughter should understand a three-part command, be able to say her age, name, sex and most of her words should be clear. She should be sorting by shape and colour and playing make believe games. Please make time to play educational games and other fun games with her.

Q. I am a single parent with grown children and am about to get married to a man who has teenage children. His wife died. His children say they would rather go to boarding school than be in the house with a new mother. What do we do?

A. You will now be part of what is called a blended family. That is a combination of two or more families following remarriage. You will have to sit with your husband and discuss how the teenagers will be provided for socially, emotionally, educationally and spiritually. You must also discuss the role your adult children will play in the blended family relationship. Remember that the children may still be coping with the loss of their mother. If, as a unit, you cannot come to a decision, please visit a psychologist to get counselling. I recommend that you and your intended spouse get counselling first, which should include premarital counselling and then follow up with family counselling.

Q. Do you think it is okay to have children teaching each other in high school? I visited my child's school a few days ago and saw another child in the class helping a boy with his reading. Is this okay?

A. Peer tutoring is when a child helps another child. It can be less frightening than when an adult helps. This special attention that a child gets, especially in a crowded classroom, may help the child, without fear of being embarrassed in front of the whole class. The peer tutor is also someone who can, right away, tell the student who needs help whether his/her answers are right or wrong and is someone who provides encouragement. Schools usually train peer tutors so they are positive in their approach.

Orlean Browe-Earle, PhD, is a child psychologist and family therapist. Dr Brown-Earle works with children with learning and behaviour problems throughout the island and in the Caribbean. Email questions to helpline@gleanerjm.com or send to Ask the Doc, c/o The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston.

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