Q. I have a child who is living in Jamaica. His mother has been constantly moving around since he was about four years old. She left him in Montego Bay with close friends for about two years before she decided to move him to Mandeville to live with an aunt. He stayed with this aunt for two years before she moved him back to her family home in St Ann where he was born.

He started a new school last year and this September she is planning to change his school and home again. Before all of this started, I begged her to allow my son to stay with my mother but she said she knew best since I was not in Jamaica. The child is now acting up in school and I take my share of the blame but I cannot help but imagine what will become of him if this perpetual transplanting doesn't end soon. Like me, the mother has not lived with the child since he was two-and-a-half years of age. What to do, doc?

A. I am happy to know that you care for your child. He is not being given the opportunity to bond with anyone and that lack of stability will affect his social and emotional development.

As it seems now, you may need to, if possible, meet with your son's mother or talk with her on the phone about the harm that your son is experiencing living like he is. If that fails, then a change in the child-custody arrangement may be your next option. You can call the Child Development Agency and they will tell you what steps to take that will be in the best interest of your child.

Q. Is there any way that you can let parents understand how important their role is in their children's education from day one, that is, birth. As a GSAT teacher doing extra lessons, I am already seeing the frustration in the children as their parents are already telling them which schools they need to pass for. I am especially concerned for the slower students. Guide the parents for me please.

A. On behalf of all teachers, especially GSAT teachers who have to deal with children whose parents cause them distress, I am imploring parents to be patient with their children and help them at home to learn. We must remember that not all persons have the same abilities. Where a child has problems learning, let us as parents spend time to understand what the problem is and help the child at home as best as we can. Let us listen to the teachers, counsellors and psychologists who have been working with the child over the years and do what they recommend.

The earlier we start to help our children with their homework, not do it for them, the better they will understand the importance of schoolwork. Parents, remember that even before birth, proper nutrition and family worship are two key things that will help our children realise that we care about them.

Q. I am thinking of putting my child in boarding school as he just thinks that video games are all there is to life. He is 15 years old now and very active. He is a smart child. His father is tired of talking and as he is a big fellow, we no longer beat him. We cannot keep him locked up in the house and so we allow him to go to the beach or to car races and so on. I know he is active with the video games because the other mothers of other boys keep calling and asking me to tell my son to stop encouraging their sons to go and play video games all hours of the night.

A. I am happy that you are not beating your child. At 15 years old, beating is the wrong way to go. Now it is consequences time. You need to let him know that if he does something that is not right, then the punishment will be something that has been decided by you and your husband or you may include your son in the plan.

Your son must be made to understand that his actions have consequences. You need to let the other parents understand that you are doing your part but they must control their own children. Your son seems to have leadership ability. Encourage him to do some community work, some type of volunteer work that will have him use his God-given talents.

Orlean Brown-Earle, PhD, is a child psychologist and family therapist. Dr Brown-Earle works with children with learning and behaviour problems throughout the island and in the Caribbean. Email questions to helpline@gleanerjm.com or send to Ask the Doc, c/o The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston.