Thank you.
A: Your daughter has done well considering the stress she has experienced. Her brother will also need help for his behaviour. I am sure the counsellor will need all of your family to attend counselling sessions also. Please be prepared to participate in these sessions. You did not share where you live, but from some other information you shared I will give you the names of two agencies that I think are close to you. They are Central Jamaica Conference Counselling Centre, in Spanish Town, you can call them at 984-2044, or Family Life Ministries in St Andrew, telephone 926-8101.
Q: My eight-year-old child has been tested by a psychologist and I was told that he is mildly mentally retarded. I walked out before I got any more information. I was distressed. Will he ever be able to learn?
A: Your child will be able to learn and learn a lot of things. Remember to ask that he be tested at least every three years to determine how much and how well he is learning. The fact that he now has some low functioning skills does not mean that he will never learn. Ensure that he is placed in a school for children with mental retardation or a school that has a special class or programme for children like him. Keep him active in all programmes at church and home. This diagnosis may change depending on how he is stimulated and encouraged. You may also request a second opinion if you are not comfortable with the information you have read in the psychological report you were given.
Q: I take care of a three-year-old child who is still not potty-trained. A woman told me that he must have a medical or a psychological problem. Should I get him checked out?
A: Many children are still not potty-trained until four years old. If he is not even trying to run to the bathroom and seems not to have any control of his bladder or bowels, you should take him to a medical doctor to ensure that there are no physical problems. If he is taking a medicine let the doctor know as this may be affecting his potty-training. Ensure that your potty-training plan is not so strict that his behaviour is a result of how he is feeling about the training. Let your paediatrician know what types of methods you are using to see if this is the best way to help him to be potty-trained. A psychological disorder is not usually diagnosed until the medical reasons are cleared up and the child is at least four years old.
Orlean Brown-Earle, PhD, is a child psychologist and family therapist. Dr Brown-Earle works with children with learning and behaviour problems throughout the island and in the Caribbean. Email questions to helpline@gleanerjm.com or send to Ask the Doc, c/o The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston.