Jamaica Gleaner
Published: Monday | June 29, 2009
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My son joined a gang and I ...
Kimesha Walters, Gleaner Writer

Jevaun* grew up in a home with two Christian parents and he was brought up to adhere to Christian principles. But when hoodlums in the community began picking on him when the extortion became unbearable, he joined the gang to avoid the pressures and to be among the fearless.

"When he started out at high school, all was well but he said there were guys in the community who were taxing him so he thought he would be better off joining them," his mother, Shernette Fagan, told The Gleaner.

Big fuss

This was unbecoming of the little boy whom Fagan had trained up in the way he must go so he would never depart from it. "He grew up in the church, but for a few months now he makes a big fuss in the house because he doesn't want to go." Now, it pains the hearts of his parents, especially his mother, who sometimes blames herself for the way her son turned out.

"Sometimes I feel like I failed; I feel like it's my fault. You know, sometimes because it's a boy you deal with him without being too hard. When he asks for anything I try to give it to him because I don't want him to go and beg other people."

Fagan said while her son was in primary school, he performed well and got results in the 80s and 90s when he sat the Grade Six Achievement Test. This performance filled her heart with pride and she expected him to carry on in the same way when he started attending a prominent high school in the country. Her hopes were, however, dashed, when he got involved in the gang.

"He joined a gang at 12, his second year at high school," an emotional Fagan explained. She added that Jevaun's first term was good and he maintained his performance for a while before all went haywire. "He started going downhill, his grades weren't good and his report wasn't good."

She was updated on all his activities when she went to the school but no amount of advice changed the boy who was determined to be bad. "When you talk to him about it, he just flares up and gets angry," Fagan said.

Frequent excuses

Soon, Jevaun started making excuses for not going to school. After this, his behaviour changed drastically and no one has been able to control him since. He even started smoking ganja.

The mother of three believes a major part of Jevaun's problems derived from the disagreements that she and her husband have about how to parent and discipline the children. "If we really came to a consensus, it would be better," she said.

Dr Asquith Reid, a consulting clinical psychologist, believes that Jevaun's problems stemmed from the fact that there was instability at home, and this drove him to join the gang where he would feel secure from the extortion. He says the fact that the parents had conflicting opinions on discipline was an added factor which must not be ignored. "They are the reason he is insecure at home. Because they were not communicating with each other, he felt insecure and he had no one to talk to about it," said Dr Reid.

Jevaun was recently shot at in his community, an action that has driven fear into the hearts of his family members. With a threat to his safety, he is now away from the community but this has left a void among members of the family who miss the only son and brother.

Memories of the way her son was loving brought tears to Fagan's eyes, and for a moment, in the interview, she burst into tears. "He used to sing and say he wants to be like Daddy. He used to be so well dressed, and he used to say, 'Mommy, I love you'," she said pensively.

After a long sigh, she continued: "Then he started shaving his eyebrows, dropped his pants under his bottom, and refused to tuck his shirt in. Those were the little signs; he didn't start with a bang."

Now, Fagan is hoping that her son will turn from his gangster ways and change his life for the better.

This, according to Dr Reid, is possible. "He's not unreachable but it's going be a hard road for him to travel to regain what he has lost." He recommends family, couple, and individual therapy for all those involved in order to enhance the relationships in the home.

Names* changed to protect identity.

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