How dare you say children are a burden? They are a burden to people who have them and did not mean to have them - mistakes. Children are a gift from God and should not be considered burdens. If you don't want children, protect yourself or give them up for adoption. I have a four-year-old son and that's the best thing that ever happened to me. Just seeing him smile and being happy fills my heart with joy.

- Simone

Thanks for sharing your concern surrounding comments made in this column to a married couple of 10 years who was childless. It was good to learn that you find raising your four-year-old son fulfilling and a wonderful experience.

The comment that children can also be a burden was not a statement that they were not gifts from God. Instead it is a statement that parents are stewards of God's creation and children ought to be perceived as both a privilege and a responsibility. It is saying that having children is a blessing and a burden.

It is a blessing to be favoured by God to be involved in the miracle of child-bearing and child-rearing. It is a blessing for the mother to witness and feel the foetus moving, growing and kicking. It develops a special bond with mother and baby. The delivery brings joy to the hearts of parents. What greater joy can there be than to be part of the development of a baby and witness and participate in the various stages of development from baby to toddler, to puberty, youth, adolescent and adulthood.

Many parents remember and record the first smile, first steps, first day at school, baptism, first job and marriage with great gladness. However, the reality is that child-rearing can be a burden. It is a heavy responsibility. Some children can be demanding on one's time. Some children have difficulties and problems. Some have serious mental and physical disabilities which can lead to frustration.

According to the Webster's Dictionary, a burden is to be loaded with something heavy. It also mentions the word difficulty. Indeed, child-rearing has difficulties and is a great responsibility, even when the child has no mental, emotional or physical challenges.

Let me illustrate the point about children as blessing and burden. There was a British comedy about two ladies who constantly met accidentally, first in the park, then in the restaurant and finally in the church praying. One mustered the courage to ask the other why she went to the park, restaurant and now praying in the church. She replied because she wants a child.

The other women said strange because she has an opposite experience that is, she is worried because she has children. The point is that some women want children, while others wish they had none. I know of mothers who wish they did not have children though they were happy in the beginning because the child kills people for a living. Children are both a blessing and a burden.

Your advice to persons, who do want a baby, to protect themselves and if a child results then they should consider offering the child for adoption, is sound advice.

The reason for telling the married couple of 10 years that children are also a burden was that they would not have an unrealistic expectation concerning child rearing. In addition, just in case they do not have any children at all, they should not only feel that they have been bypassed a blessing but that they would have also avoided the burdens.

Thanks again for your kind comments and I hope this clarifies my position that children are a joy and a burden.

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