Dear counsellor,

I am having a weight problem. I am gaining weight and am very concerned about this. I need to lose weight as I have a family history of diabetes mellitus.

- Marcia

Dear Marcia,

Weight problems are quite common and mostpeople are trying to cope with this. Weight involves fat, exercise and emotions. Too often, we deal with fat and exercise and forget about emotions and spirituality. You need to have a close relationship with God. God as the Higher Power is in control of our destiny. We need to be guided by Him and set our life goals according to His direction. You need life goals that do not have anything to do with weight. Having set your goals, you need to subdivide and list your day-to-day goals. Some important life goals are health and wealth. If you are healthy, you can get wealth and have longevity. As you can see, ourspirituality is most important.

Get counselling

We have emotions and feelings. Many of us have been abused, physically, emotionally or sexually. We need to be healed from rejection, neglect, abandonment and trauma. It is important to get counselling about past trauma and abuses. We need help to cope with current life stresses and relationships. We need to have relationships that are healthy and appropriate. Many times, we are involved in relationships that are problematic and dysfunctional. Look at your parent-child relationships, the couple relationships and the adult-adult relationships. Are these relationships healthy and growth promoting? Someone once said that people come into our lives for a reason, a purpose.

Relationship purpose

Have you found the purpose of your relationships? We need to be nurtured, pampered and loved. Are you getting your needs met? Too often, we are loved-starved and so we love ourselves with food. Emotional health is important and we need to care for our health. We need to be able to ventilate our feelings and clear our minds as we plan our future.

Depression and anxiety need to be treated. Some people get nervous or panicky and feed themselves. The causes of anxiety should be dealt with appropriately.

As usual, portion size and meal composition need to be suitable for you. Walking is good exercise as well as climbing stairs.

Dear counsellor,

My family consists of my husband and four children. We live in fear of redundancy and having to reorganise our lives. How does one cope in these hard times?

- Liana

Dear Liana,

These days should be considered as part of the cycle of life. Sometimes there will be good times and sometimes there will be bad times. When it's good times, you need to enjoy them to the fullest extent. You need to have pleasant memories and nice activities to help you to cope with hard times.

Health is important at all times. Therefore, we need to look at spirituality, finances, mental, physical and social health. Spirituality is important and will help to keep the family unit together. Families - single, extended or blended - need to stay together and focus on keeping things good.

Reduce expenditures

Finances are important and we need to reduce our expenditures. There are very basic items on the budget. Think of which loan can be renegotiated and which expense is a luxury. We need to have some entertainment once monthly or every other month. Do cheap activities like picnic at Hope Gardens or Castleton Gardens or fishing at Serenity Park. Travel to the countryside to visit historic sites and refresh your history of Jamaica. Culture is important so this enforced togetherness can help to improve your family life. Take pictures of scenic views. Create an album of the Depression at the turn of the century. Plan to cook meals together and set the table formally and enjoy the meals with fine dining.

Hardship can be seen as a time for closeness with family and friends. We need to be supportive of each other and share our successes and failures. The food bill can be reduced and food can be cooked forseveral days and just warmed at the appropriate times. Buy in bulk to get discounts and shop in the market at evening times. Cut down on clothes unless absolutely necessary. When using the washing machine, use full loads and sort the clothes before putting them in. Hang clothes to dry on hangers to avoid ironing them. Iron a full load at a time and use hangers to prevent crushing of clothes. Eat healthy and take your supplements.

Supervise closely

Do your chores and do walking to get exercise and reduce your expenses. Supervise closely the use of electrical appliances and electronic equipment. You need to reduce the utilities by being vigilant about the use of water, telephone, electricity and cable.

Look for opportunities in the crisis. Prepare for a brighter future and when this period has passed, we will say: "We have succeeded at all levels."

Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson, 978-8602 or yvonniebd@hotmail.com