The Editor, Sir:

It was quite refreshing to read the views of Esther Tyson in The Sunday Gleaner of June 7. It is a pity that words of wisdom like Tyson's are not seen or heard by the masses. How do we get in into our kids heads that sex will always be there to enjoy - it is not running away.

How do we stop this quick-fix mentality of our social problems by treating symptoms only? We can treat symptoms of course by giving out condoms and teaching kids how to use them, but in the long run what kind of a society are we creating?

As I listen to the discussion about sex and seeing what is being fed to young adults by our media, I get the impression that we have given up on the good that exists in all of us - that part of us that wants to see the best for our country - that part of us that cares about others when there is no material gain in doing so.

Popular message

What kind of society are we creating if the most popular message about sex and condom use is "Pinch, leave an inch and roll". What about "Wait, value self, value others", (as Tyson pointed out).

Getting our kids to value their bodies means reminding them that they are important, letting them understand that the small time they have on earth, they should try to make a positive difference. It is allowing our kids to understand that it is OK to love and respect themselves. Once we get our kids to respect themselves, it is easy for them to love and respect others.

Cable and the internet are the media by which our young adults get ideas and information. The constant diet of sex and violence to our kids can only lead to the degradation of the things we once valued.

I started having sex at age 26 not because there was something wrong with me, but because completing my degree was the most important thing at that time. I completed my degree before sharing that sort of intimacy with a woman I cared about and who cared about me. I found out how thrilling sex could be but also the psychological effect of that kind of contact. I started "pinching, leaving an inch and rolling", but after I had an identity - I knew who I was and who I could be.

I would say this to every young adult: "Don't follow the crowd, let the crowd follow you."

I am, etc.,

PAUL H. REID

paulr@flowja.com