POSITIVE Parenting

Sophia James* is one of the guardians of her 13-year-old nephew who has been smoking ganja on and off since age nine. He is so antisocial that they have to 'corner' him to get him to listen to their reprimand about the dangerous path he treads. And even when they think they have his attention, he will simply hiss his teeth and walk away.

Adrian Johnson* did not tell his guardians that he was smoking, nor has he admitted that he has been using the drug, but the vigilance of his guardians has assisted in identifying his behaviour change and the reasons for it. "The first time I found out was when I smell it on him," James said as she explained that the young men in the community gave the marijuana to her nephew while threatening him not to tell anyone.

Johnson's mother migrated when he was only three years old and she hasn't been back since. Even though he has visited twice, he still complains about missing his mom. His father lives in rural Jamaica but the relationship between them is anything but agreeable, so he feels that he has no one to give him moral support - to 'stand up' for him.

While Johnson was no saint before he started smoking, James said his behaviour changed drastically when he took up the habit. "He was practising truancy at school, he dropped back in his schoolwork and he was just angry and disobedient all the time. It was like he didn't care about anything."

She said at first Johnson was afraid of being beaten, but became fearless as he indulged more in smoking. "Before he started smoking, he used to run from the beating but after, he would say, 'You can kill me if you want' and that was when we stopped beating him and tried showing him other smokers in the community and how they looked."

This strategy seemed to work, but only for a time, as bad became worse when Johnson's grades began to decline and he wasn't interested in going to school. "From grade three when he was about eight or nine, he was doing fine, then it was like he forgot everything that he learnt."

He wasn't even able to read and because of this his guardians did not allow him to sit the Grade Six Achievement Test.

Slow performance

Johnson had changed schools three times, and based on an assessment he was sent to a fourth school and was doing better for almost a year after that.

"One day he said to me, 'Auntie, is like something inna mi head just open up'," beamed James, who said her nephew asked why they hadn't sent him there earlier. The interest he showed in his schoolwork made her proud. But interest went through the door soon after. With pride in tow.

The cancer that addiction is had resurfaced, so too the antisocial behaviour.

To help him kick this habit of substance abuse for good, James and the other members of his family have put Johnson in a mentorship programme with Jamaica Social Investment Fund. He has been in counselling for the last month since another relapse into smoking.

James says it is a constant battle to keep her nephew positive as there are always others trying to entice him to do wrong. "We have been constantly fighting to keep him positive. It's like reminding your children every night to brush their teeth," she says. However, Johnson seems intent to change as he has expressed to his teacher that he would like to leave the community.

"It's important that you try to empower everybody because when you try to do things on your own it might not work," Johnson's aunt said.

Since she knows that a child might not admit to smoking, she advises that parents take a cautious approach in their confrontation. "I always say, 'I know you're doing it', and then advise him because he will not admit it," she said.

*Names changed to protect identity.