Kelly

There's a video going around of a young woman who nearly lost her life while executing a dance move or, better yet, having it executed on her.

The man who is her dance partner (if what I am about to describe can be called dancing) is supposed to do a somersault and land on the said female who is lying like a helicopter pad on the floor and then 'dagger' her. Unfortunately, the lad apparently overshot the landing strip (which I assume was supposed to be the woman's waist area) and caught her, full force, in the head and neck region. He then righted himself and proceeded with the other half of the 'move', daggering away.

Amid the screams of delight at the spectacle, somebody (God bless him or her) finally noticed that the young miss was not moving. She looked like she was asleep, which couldn't have been possible, right? Except, technically, she was. Not sawing logs and counting sheep asleep, more like knocked totally unconscious asleep!

Yep, the blow from the fellow and the following bounce of her head off the ground put her out like a street light during a hurricane. So, being the experts at first aid that the no-longer-cheering fans were, they decided to revive her. That would take some doing. One cup of water was insufficient so they went for a big, water-cooler type thing.

Throughout the whole ordeal, the selector was an absolute moron as he declared "gyal dead" and "big up to di ... dead gyal". There are other quotes which I really won't get into in the column. I'm going on the premise he knew she was alive, but I'm not sure. I honestly believe he thought 'it dun gone bad a'ready' and simply proceeded to do what he was paid to do; talk pon di mic! Fortunately for all considered, the knocked-out 'niceness' was finally revived and, to my knowledge, is only suffering from a bruised head (with a handy headache in tow).

Now, between my later teenage years and early 20s (which both seem sooo long ago), I had various ideas about fun. The type of 'dancing' I saw was not one of them, and still isn't. The only time I see anybody somersaulting into the chest of another is in World Wrestling Entertainment and considering that people have been known to die in the ring is enough reason for me not to do it.

If these are the things we're doing now, imagine what we will be doing five years from now. Forget five, what about next year? Next month? Makes me worry for my children (if/when I have any).

Weep with me at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com

Daggering is a popolar dance move that simulates the sex act. - photo by Fabian Ohara