"A woman's nature is to find favour in her husband's eyes." - Chazon Ish
Women and men fall in love, excitement looms large, but later (months or years perhaps), they can barely tolerate each other. Extra-marital affairs develops and the relationship is in trouble. Following last week's Outlook article highlighting the issue of women cheating on their husbands, one wife's guilt led her to explain that she had to cheat because her husband does not really understand what she wants. Although he provides for her materially (house, car, money), she needs far more than material possessions to be really happy.
Women from Venus
We know that men are different from women - Men are from Mars, Women from Venus, as delineated in the best-seller by John Grey. The differences between men and women are universal. Women all over the world complain that 'He doesn't understand', 'He doesn't listen', 'The only time he touches me is when he wants sex'. Similarly, men all over the world complain that 'She seems to get enough sex, unless the woman is around 37 years old. At this magical age, women want more sex than ever before." Enzinearticles.com. Women want admiration and respect and they have a deep desire to be loved all the time. They want emotional fulfilment: to be heard, understood and made to feel special.
Living together a turnoff
When men and women decide to live together, women find that there are a number of things they would love their men to do to prevent them from going 'ballistics' and becoming emotionally upset. Within the home, women want men to:
Listen to them; do not tune them out so it leads to nagging, resentment and anger.
Talk so that their women can understand what is going on in their headspace. If men do not share their thoughts, feelings and constantly withhold their inner struggles and concerns, they will miss an opportunity to deepen their relationships with the women in their lives.
Notice when they get a new hairstyle, wear a gorgeous dress or make changes to the home.
Clean up after themselves like putting their clothes in the laundry basket, washing their plates, dumping beer cans and flushing the toilet after use.
Seek treatment for their snoring so their women can get a peaceful night's sleep.
Understand their PMS moments and demonstrate care and understanding instead of throwing this natural process in the woman's face.
What women really love about men:
1. When they dance. Women find it thrilling to dance with a man who knows how to move. Research has shown that a well-executed slow dance will make women go weak in the knees and beg for more.
2. Show some manual dexterity like changing the tyre, fixing a leak and other broken things around the home.
3. Engage in chivalry like opening the door, pulling out the chair and demonstrate basic courtesy.
4. Practise good grooming and dress well outside of jeans, no socks and polo shirts.
5. Get along with their mothers-in-law as this creates less tension in the union.
6. Cry at times to show emotions and women find this very attractive and their hearts will warm even more with love.
7. Take care of themselves as they age through the life cycle. They should eat well, exercise and try to keep the 'big belly' away.
8. Make their women feel safe at night by being next to them in bed.
9. Have a great sense of humour as relationships are healthier when you both laugh, and at yourselves.
10. Be real fathers and spend quality time with their children.
11. Do most of the driving when you have to go out together.
12. Look after their women when they get sick - getting medication, bathing her if needs be, making chicken soup or tea and serving a meal in bed and take care of the household responsibilities and the children.
Tell-tale signs she's lost interest
Men should take a cue that their women may be planning to dump them or cheat when they lose interest in sex and she no longer likes to be touched, hugged or kissed. Other tell-tale signs include little or no interest in talking about plans for the weekend or the future. Not happy to see you when you come home at the end of the day, no longer nags, shows no confidence and avoiding talk in general.
Romantic moves
On the romantic side, women wish that men would be adventurous to try new sexual tricks inside and outside the bedroom.
Do not forget birthdays, holidays, and anniversary gifts, plus surprise gifts for any 'I love you' day. Make an intimate home-cooked meal and serve by candlelight with soft music.
Learn to give foot, shoulder and full-body massages to excite and delight your spouse, even without being rewarded with sex. Take a course and learn to use aromatic oils with sensuous strokes to earn points in your romantic pursuits.
Share you passion and feelings through cards and letters to be romantic. Handwrite a letter and mail it as was the tradition.
Spoil your spouse by allowing her to sleep late in bed and watch the kids. Hugs and kisses are of great help everywhere.
Highlight your woman's good qualities to friends and family.
Plan a surprise weekend activities - a simple picnic at a scenic spot. Call and make all the arrangements ahead of time. You may make arrangements for a restaurant to pack a gourmet lunch for the two of you that you could pick up on your way out of town.
The proverbial rule is to treat your woman the same way you would like to be treated. Understanding your woman is really the key to making her happy. Once she is happy, you will reap the benefits of a satisfying relationship and keeping her faithful to the union.