There is one thing worse than being a miserable, old, you-know-what; being a young miserable you-know-what.

It doesn't take much to get me in a 'dark' mood. Admittedly, it's a little too easy at times. But then, that's why the Good Shepherd made me a 5' 7" pudgy bloke rather than a 6' 9" behemoth able to crack cement blocks with his head. I think I would have got into more fights than I did during all my school years (one, and it ended in a draw), or I would have ended up in prison (apparently there's a law against assaulting another human being). Neither of these outcomes would have been recommended.

The latest thing that is reaaaalllyyy beginning to annoy me is all these social networking sites. I'm talking about Facebook, Twitter and whichever ones they've come up with between writing this article and you reading the published version. The first one I heard people (especially women) going gaga over was Hi5.

It was like the greatest invention since edible underwear. Like a doofus trying to fit in, I got a Hi5 account and did about as much with it as a dog could do with hay. I figure the account has been cancelled; I have never bothered to check. But then, before you know it (as with many fads these days), something better came along. And then another, and another, until there are so many sites, it's nauseating.

What makes me more of a grump is that people keep sending me email requests to join them on these sites. Did it ever dawn on them, including the few friends I have, that they have never seen even one photo of me doing anything at any party, or at a concert, or just goofing around in my spare time? Well, for all those who don't get the concept, mi not into it!

And then, there always seems to be a group of giddy-headed folks who feel like talking about who they saw on the site last night. That person is too inquisitive or rude, or that girl was totally hot, or not. And they always seem to talk this mindless drivel when I'm in a crappy mood (or working, which is often the same thing).

Leave me alone

These conversations are all like a loaded staple gun letting off staples inside my head and nobody can find the safety switch.

Of course, at some point, people are going to ask me which one of these sites I'm on? When the answer comes, they will look at me like I'm weird (which I am, just not in this particular instance).

So, for the love of all humanity (okay, at least for me), leave me out of the social stuff. That's for young people and I'm a good, old, young you-know-what! Leave me alone!

Twitter me@daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com