Jamaica Gleaner
Published: Tuesday | April 14, 2009
Home : Lead Stories
DEAR COUNSELLOR - Harmony in the home

Q In these tough times when there is so much bad news, what can families do to ensure harmony and communication at home?

A Good communication is a critical factor in creating and maintaining harmony in the home. The family needs to realise that communication skills ought to be practised regularly in order to develop. Family members need to listen intentionally and actively to each other, acknowledging and respecting each family member's comments and perspective. Each statement made must be perceived as the most important event at the time. To ensure undivided attention, there should be no distraction, such as watching television or reading a book, when it is time for communication.

Families ought to establish ground rules for communication. Ground rules such as do not attack the person instead deal with the arguments; two persons should not speak simultaneously; listen with the intent to learn, even from a child and even from silly comments; maintain eye contact; be willing to compromise; be tolerant of other persons' opinions and when there are differences try to arrive at win-win positions.

Maintain harmony in families

These communication ground rules will help to maintain harmony in families during these tough times when there is a plethora of bad news and many persons seem stressed and unable to cope, easily 'fly off the handle' and sometimes becoming rude and disrespectful.

In addition to the daily courtesies and instructions to members, families need to establish 'family time' at least one day per week. During this 'family time', members can engage in family games. This is an inexpensive activity which can lead to family bonding. This is also good to divert attention from the daily diet of negative news. It could also strengthen the family in order to endure and overcome tough times.

Family communication time must be used as an opportunity to celebrate family successes such as the children's performance in academics, extra-curricular activities, completion of household chores and charitable involvement. In addition, any accomplishments of the parents should be recognised. More time should be spent celebrating achievements rather than complaining about failures. Seek opportunities for celebrating. Let your family be known as one that does not even need an occasion to celebrate.

Send your issues and concerns to our counsellor. Email: editor@gleanerjm.com or fax: 922-6223.


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