Having had an abortion at age 14, Charmaine Anderson, a pseudonym adopted because pregnancy termination sometimes incurs condemnation in Jamaica, says she has no regrets as the experience strengthened her for the future.

"I am glad my mother found out before it was too late because I don't know how I would cope," Anderson, who is now 20, told Saturday Life.

As a teen, Anderson was involved in a secret relationship with her neighbour who was six years her senior. She said she became sexually active to blend in with peers at school.

But unlike her friends, she got caught off-guard. Anderson missed her period and knew something was wrong.

"I was devastated. I did not know where to turn but I knew that I didn't want to have a child at 14," she said.

realise changes

She hid the pregnancy from her mother but her nosy sister began to realise some changes in her body.

"My sister asked me how I looked like I was pregnant but I shrugged her off and pretended that it was a lie," Anderson said.

When Anderson's sister asked her the question on a second occasion, she admitted that she was indeed pregnant. Her sister relayed the information to her mom, who got very upset. A home pregnancy test confirmed Anderson's worst nightmare.

"My mother was so disappointed. She was not just worried that I was pregnant but was also concerned what people would say, so she told me that I had to get rid of the child," said Anderson.

Mother and daughter went to the doctor's, where the procedure was done.

Anderson said she was terrified on D-Day but was just relieved that she did not have to face the embarrassment of sporting a bump at age 14 and dropping out of school.

Out of fear of being arrested, her boyfriend who impregnated her ran away from his parents' home.

"I wasn't doing so well in school at the time when I became pregnant but then I decided that I was going to improve and make my mother proud," she said

terrific turnaround

Anderson eventually graduated from high school with eight subjects at the Caribbean Secondary Education Certificate level.

She has applied for university and intends to pursue higher studies, come September.

"Everybody deserves a second chance and I am glad I was given that chance. I couldn't cope as a mother and I am a changed person today," said Anderson.

As for pregnancy, she said she would allow it to happen again only when she is ready to become a mother.

"I have taken control of my life. Misfortune made me into a stronger individual," said Anderson.

petrina.francis@gleanerjm.com