POSITIVE Parenting

Shock 'horreur', I will not be attending any form of antenatal classes as previously planned! Committing to an allotted time every Thursday for 10 weeks became obsolete when I was ordered on bed rest a month ago. The disappointment is so profound that my husband and I are wondering if we'll be able to get through my labour without them!

NOT!!! Are you kidding me? We couldn't be more relieved. This is the silver lining in the dark-grey cloud that loomed over us while I was in hospital.

I'm not implying that midwives and nurses who run such classes don't have useful knowledge to impart, nor am I suggesting that prospective parents wouldn't learn a great deal from them. All I am saying is that it is unrealistic for those who work to leave their offices and get to a session BY five o'clock, once a week for 10 weeks in a row, without ticking off their bosses! Remember there is traffic to contend with folks. And, it's unlikely that you'll be working next door to the venue of the course.

"Sure Mr X, you go right on ahead and find out what you can do to help your wife through the pains of labour, how to change a nappy and hold a baby correctly. Don't worry about the company accounts or clients. They'll be patiently waiting for your assistance tomorrow."

Or, "You want to take off from work an hour early every Thursday, 10 times, so that you can lean back on a comfy pillow that is resting on your husband while you practise breathing techniques, and 'hee' and 'haw' through pretend contractions, as well as take three months maternity leave when the baby arrives? Not a problem. You don't mind if we take a couple days out of that leave you're due, do you?"

Wishful thinking.

We have some friends who loved the classes they went to. They found a set that was 'taught' on Saturday evenings. It did make their weekends suffer socially, but I suppose it's best one gets used to this. Having a kid is a sure way of this occurring, so why not see what that's like a little earlier!?

No chance

The majority of my girlfriends did not go to Lamaze (childbirth) classes, because there was no chance in anyone's imagination of getting their spouses to agree to join them. My honey husband, of course, had been willing to come ... until I hinted that I thought I'd prefer to buy a DVD on the subject. At which point, he gushed about what a fantastic idea that would be, and wouldn't it be more comfortable sitting on our sofa than on some hard plastic chairs with 'misshaped' backs? Sneaky fellow he is!

As luck would have it, I stumbled across a DVD called 'The Best Birth'. Registered nurse Sarah McMoyler, who has assisted with over 5,000 births, lectures a roomful of couples on what to look for and do during labour. While she has more knowledge about the labour process than I thought possible, I found it difficult to absorb every detail and I doubt that I will even remember a 10th of it when my time arrives.

Knowing what to expect

However, the part that has vividly remained in my head is the seemingly excruciating pain that I will have to endure at delivery time. Of course, I have known for a number of years what happens, but to see a real woman on the television screen going through with the inevitable, is quite different. I used to be adamant about the importance of knowing what to expect, now I'm wondering whether ignorance is bliss when it comes to child birth.

emmadaltonbrown@gmail.com