Dear Counsellor:

I have been trying to lose weight for a long time. I am unsuccessful and depressed. I am trying to avoid the complications of obesity.

- Sharon

Dear Sharon:

Weight problems are very common. People are either trying to lose weight or trying to gain some pounds. It is easier to gain weight than to lose weight.

There are carious aspects to weight management. There are the behavioural, physical, emotional and the spiritual aspects.

Weight management has to be viewed holistically. Physically, we need to pay attention to diet, exercise and lifestyle changes. Speak with a dietitian and an exercise trainer to develop a programme for weight reduction. The dietitian will assess your caloric requirements, portion sizes, varieties of food and frequency of meals. Foods have different caloric content, so your choice of foods will have to be regulated.

Exercise is important as you will burn calories, tone muscles and lose fat. Exercise and diet planning have to be viewed as lifelong activities. Sometimes you may relapse but you have to get back with the programme.

Many people often have the tendency to eat whenever they see food, not because they are hungry. Food has a soothing component. People eat to comfort themselves, to reward themselves and be happy.

behavioural aspects to eating

The emotional and behavioural aspects to eating have to be considered as these will jeopardise diet and exercise programmes. Many programmes fail because people feel deprived when they are dieting. In life, there are periods of loneliness and unhappiness.

Some people find that they eat more when they are undergoing stressful situations. Keep a diary to assess your eating pattern for one week. Make notes of the periods when you are moody and observe what you have eaten.

Food is everywhere and you have to discipline yourself to eat only a certain amount at certain times. Try to deal with your unhappiness in other ways. Many times we become negative in our thoughts and behaviour. We tend to overgeneralise and personalise issues, which give us a negative view of life.

You need to approach weight management in a positive light and work towards small gains. However, be prepared for setbacks. Try to remain motivated to persevere with the programme.

Spirituality is important, as we all need to have a personal relationship with God. You need to pray daily and get others to pray for you. Prayer is helpful because it calms your fears and gives hope and understanding as well as zest and enthusiasm.

Cancer worry

Dear Counsellor:

I have just been diagnosed with cancer. I feel devastated and wish to die right away. My family has been trying to motivate and encourage me.

- Sonia

Dear Sonia:

A diagnosis of cancer is distressing and it impacts the entire family and friends.

There are certain questions you need to ask of your specialist. You need to find out how advanced the cancer is and what treatment you will need. The doctor will explain things to you.

spiritual support

You should get a close relative to accompany you to the doctor. Sometimes you may not understand the issues as you are fearful and distressed. A relative will help tremendously.

Get spiritual support in the form of prayer and encouragement. Don't give up hope, as cancers are viewed as chronic diseases. Obtain as much information as you can about the cancer, the treatment and the prognosis. Information can be used to help to make decisions and guide your care.

For astute advice from Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson, email questions about personal and family issues to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.