Sixty is the new 20. It's becoming more trendy for younger women to hook up with older men. First, women have to overcome the initial jousting with friends who joke about adult diapers, soaking dentures and getting it up. But when the laughter dies down, post-adolescents are comfortable getting groovy with Grandpa!

Ja Ja explains that her doctor, who later became her lover, was 18 years older than she when they first met. She was feeling ill one day and went to his practice.

"I remember the day, I felt like I was getting a heart attack, so when I rushed to his practice, he was inside attending to another patient. After a few minutes, he came out and looked after me, then advised me that my illness was not what I had thought," said Ja Ja.

From there, they began talking on the telephone for hours until finally they became an item.

"The relationship lasted for five years and it was something that I did not regret. We broke up because he was becoming too controlling," said Ja Ja, who is now a senior sub-officer in the Jamaica Constabulary Force.

Though Ja Ja's relationship faltered, women are still banking on old favourites.

wealthy and highly educated

Speaking with Saturday Life, clinical psychologist Dr Asquith Reid argued that although some women might be wealthy, highly educated and in professional jobs, they still prefer to get involved with men with a bit more mileage. Bald pates and pot bellies are back in business.

"Apart from a committed relationship, some women are looking for financial security and stability," the clinical psychologist commented.

He explained that older men tend to have a lot of social connections, which involve a network of mature and professional friends.

"This sort of provides some comfort for the younger woman who, if she has a problem in the relationship, will want to discuss the issue with one of his friends. The younger men don't have this type of relationship," said Reid.

He disclosed that one of the most common concerns in the young chick-old rooster relationship is that the male sometimes develops illness and may not be able to satisfy the woman sexually.

"This might result in cheating, divorce or separation if they are not married," said Reid. "(However) for some women, sex is not all, as long as there are other things to enhance to the relationship," he added.

According to him, some men will understand and do almost anything to save the relationship. Others, however, will entertain the woman's security needs to buffer the relationship.

Reid cautions that one of the risks in these types of relationships is that the younger woman might be lured by the bigger biceps of studs and become unsure about settling down.

One of the drawbacks in the young women-older men relationship is that, statistically, women live longer than men and there is the possibility that some of these women will become young widows.

Dispute Resolution

Head of the Dispute Resolution Foundation, Donna Parchment-Brown, stressed that no matter the age group, respect is very important. She said the potential for conflict could be magnified by the age gap.

Parchment advised that partners should exercise good listening skills, make eye contact when talking to each other, control the volume and choose the right time and place to discuss issues.

She noted that these couples sometimes have vastly different expectations.

Another clinical psychologist, Dr Karen Richards, said the egos of younger men are fiery and their capacity for unfaithfulness is fuelled by the drive to sleep around with many women.

"Older men's ego is pretty much safe and certain level of experience comes with ageing," said Richards.

Not her real name.

glenroy.sinclair@gleanerjm.com