Can't for heaven's sake shut up. Always had something to say about everything - particularly other people's business. These tattlers manoeuvre topics as deftly as a 'robot' taxi wends its way through peak-hour traffic. Never mind that they bore you to tears; as long as there's an ear, the chatterbox thrives.

Favourite phrase: "Hey, yuh hear seh ..."

Voted most likely to: Take up a career writing gossip columns.

Nary a care in the world. What better to do during class than play games or daydream about other places to be. Some even used the time to catch up on their much-needed sleep. Don't be too quickto write them off as quite a few of these time wasters got the grades even as they seemed to glide through classes. And how they did it still remains a mystery.

Favourite phrase: "ZZZzzz."

Voted most likely to: Succeed/be in good health.

Now this character was good or bad depending on which side of the laughter befell you. If you thought school was boring, the prankster was right on the ball making light of everything and keeping you in stitches. But if you were the butt of his jokes, life could have been a living nightmare. Either way, he's everybody's favourite character.

Favourite phrase: Every phrase. When the jester opens his mouth, there is laughter aplenty.

Voted most likely to: Marry one of the jock's girlfriends.

These budding entrepreneurs always knew how to turn out a moneymaking opportunity. Selling sweets, selling snacks, selling trinkets, selling homework services ... you name it, they can squeeze some change out of it.

Favourite phrase: Buy sup'n nuh?

Voted most likely to: Be safe after the Cash Plus crash and recession.

The concept of an original idea was way too much for this character to fathom so xeroxing other people's sufficed. He also learned early that forming the right alliances was the key to success: Who better to copy from than the class genius?

Favourite phrase: "Mek mi si dat nuh, mi fren'."

Voted most likely to: Make friends in all the right places.

Clearly lacking attention at home, these suck-ups fight to carry the teacher's books. They remember birthdays, Christmas, Teachers' Day and 'just-because' gifts. The front seat is their throne and cleaning the board, the desk and ratting on woeful delinquents is their game.

Favourite phrase: "Let mi get that for you, Miss."

Voted most likely to: Work in the same office as you.

The divas always had the clothes and accessories to rival any high-fashion runway. They seemed to have it all coordinated, right down to the cute pencils and notebooks, the best bags and shoes. Never a lock of hair out of place and always armed with comb, mirror, lipgloss and curriculum textbooks, Tiger Beat and Seventeen.

Favourite phrase: "How do I look?"

Voted most likely to: Open a boutique, salon.

The class Einstein who knows everything about everything. Not a muscle in sight but the brains do compensate. Outfitted à la Steve Urkel, these know-it-alls never miss a beat hogging all the questions and making everyone else look bad.

Favourite phrase: "Me, Miss! Me, Miss!"

Voted most likely to: Take up rocket science at a school abroad.

These star athletes and 'ballers drove all the nerds mad. Maybe it's all the eau de phero-mones but they manage to swipe all the girls with their beginner biceps, sporting skills and all-round prominence.

Favourite phrase: (Can't come up with a fluent sentence, just a cocky grin and a swagger.)

Voted most likely to: Join one of the local football clubs.

Never owned anything, which is why they always ask to use your stuff. They generally forget to return them and shame is no deterrent. So after taking your best pen last week, they're back to get your calculator this week. Beggars, always short of cash, are never short on a hard-luck story. How many grandmothers do they have?

Favourite phrase: "Len' mi yuh ... nuh?"

Voted most likely to: Live next door.

Mi seh, yuh nuh hear seh Tracy modda beat her?

Feel free to share memories of your own crazy class characters. Email saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com.