The Editor, Sir:
On November 2 and 30, last year, mi write to you lamenting my plight after lying here in mi grave for over 50 years. Now, on March 9, someone slip a printed copy of an email message through a crack in mi grave top. It say:
"Dear Agatha Innerarity
Nedra Innerarity Creamer - Texas (powderpuff911@yahoo.com) has reinvited you to the Innerarity/Inverarity International Family website on myfamily.com. For security reasons, replies to this message will not be received. Please contact Nedra Innerarity Creamer - Texas directly for assistance, using email to powderpuff911@yahoo.com. Family Site Updates: 8 Mar 2009. We are making progress with the Spain Innerarity search! New Jamaica tree has been posted in the online tree section!!! We now have family movies in the news! Just click on the news category tab and pull it down, then click on 'movies'. Please check your member page and add what is needed by clicking on 'edit information'. Also add a photo and include family information in notes so I can add it to the tree. Lots of other new things posted!
Hope to see you in it soon.
With Love
Nedra Creamer Innerarity
powderpuff911@yahoo.
Now, could someone please tell Nedra Creamer Innerarity, aka Powderpuff911, that I am a dead woman, and do not wish to heng from no tree, whether fambily, pumpkin or tambrin? She ever see skeleton pon tree yet? Dem either inna grave or in closet.
Inform her that when mi did dead computer never reach Jamaica yet, and the picture dem that mi left inna mi house, the godforsaken granpickney dem tear dem up, because mi did not put dem in mi will. That mi don't have no picture of me down here, no cameraman do not live in here wid mi. And mi is very certain that she would not love to see a picture of me, who dead for over 50 years now. Not even yeye mi have inna mi head.
Moreover, mi not sure if mi real name is Innerarity, becausen say mi don't know mi father, never see him yet. Mi mother say him first name was Tom, and from she tell him that she was pregnant wid mi, him disappear. When she went to register mi, she had was to choose a last name, and she choose Innerarity because it sound nice and ristocratic, uptownish.
So, ask her, Nedra Innerarity to leave me alone, mi waiting on the rapture, and mi don't want to go pon no tree. Next ting you know, dem come prinkle some of that smelly, imported fertiliser at the root.
I am, etc.,
Agatha Gemima
Innerarity
May Pen Cemetery
Oxydmoron@gmail.com