From my own perspective, I was very angry and my father was pushing all the wrong buttons.

Now that I am older, I realise that it was jealousy and his inadequacy as a father figure. I was very independent and by the time I was in high school, I was doing a part-time job. I took my money and bought things for the house, my mother and my siblings instead of begging my father for things. My family would start asking me for things. And as a man, you want to be the hero of the family, but to realise that your little nobody daughter is in the spotlight that was not good.

The relationship with my father dissolved and I left home. My father became sick and eventually passed away, but on his sick bed, he realised that he was wrong and he apologised.

Now, I am not a resident here but I go back and forth to Jamaica. And, these are dangerous times, and to have your girl child waiting for you could be unsafe. My concern is that anything could have happened to her as she wait. So his story is suspect. He never mentions love of this daughter, he never mentions his attempts to reconcile with the daughter. Ignoring arguments and fights is not a reconciliation. And if you went to counselling and the counsellor (whom has no bias) is telling it is you, my brother, it is YOU!

I humbly submit this advice: Talk to you daughter, not AT her. Start over. And, really start over. Go hang out with each other for the day. Because you will be surprised that you have something in common. Let go of the silly little things. Use US president Obama as an example. And check out www.fatherhood.org.

Avril Ramsay

Agency Rep

Shared Services, Atl

5707 Peachtree Pkwy

Norcross, GA 30092