Are we in an age when being a virgin is no longer fashionable?

In the past, being a virgin gave a woman a sense of pride and even power.

Back then, men preferred 'untouched' women and they were held in high esteem. However, the fact that there now seems to be a diminishing desire for virgins may come as a surprise to people from the old school. But, as times change, so too do men's preferences in terms of mates and wives. Many men no longer desire virgins; they prefer sexually experienced women.

John Black* has been married for the last 12 years but he said if he were to go back on the market, he would not want a virgin. He prefers experienced women because they are better in bed.

"You don't have to tell an experienced woman what to do because she already knows the ropes. With virgins, you have to be extremely careful, taking your time not to hurt them. And sometimes, by the time you finally have penetration, you ejaculate prematurely, leaving you dissatisfied," he said.

Her first

He also pointed out that because you will be her first, she might want to test the waters later on in the relationship to see what else is out there. As such, he is not taking any chances with a virgin.

Mark Williams* also said he does not want a virgin. He said it is just too much work and it would be less pleasurable during sex. "You will have to teach them too much, plus they are usually in so much pain it detracts from the pleasure of sex," he said.

Reverend Livingston Malcolm of the United Pentecostal Church of Jamaica said the fact that virgins no longer seem to appeal to many men questions morality and values. This current perception of female virgins, he said, is not limited to Jamaica but has become a global situation.

"People are looking for instant gratification. Sometimes values are dismissed; some let down their guard or standards."

This is true, to some extent, for Michael Samuels, who has no qualms about dating a virgin but said he would only do so if he were serious about her. "Oh yes, I would date a virgin. it doesn't really matter if I'm really into her and it is a true relationship that we have. But if I am only looking for fun, then I certainly wouldn't date a virgin unless she says she is ready to give in because I don't want to be subjected to any long wait."

Adding to the relationship

The more-traditional Nicholas James* said he would date a virgin. He believes it is good when both of you can discover each other intimately. "Being the first to discover your partner sexually gives you a good feeling as a man, plus it adds to the relationship."

Reverend Malcolm noted that fingers may be pointed at the lack of moral and biblical teachings, but said while positive principles are still being taught, they get intertwined with other factors, hence the breakdown. "These moral teachings get caught up in a whirlwind of other activities and these principles tend to go right through the window."

The churchman says while many positive principles are still being shared, "the fact is, the nature of society has changed".

*Names changed on request

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