For those who follow the Bible and other literature and beliefs surrounding and associated with it, we are now in Lent.

For the alien reading from Jupiter, it is the period of 40 days before Easter in which persons believe Jesus was in the wilderness resisting the devil and all that. So custom/tradition/religion calls for giving up something and I don't mean virgins 'giving it up' to potential suitors.

Nothing much to give

So, like many persons, I figured that I should give something up; I just had no idea what. My problem was that there aren't many things that I have to give up in the first place. Some give up meat, but yours truly has no intention of going without 'real food' for that long.

Once, my doctor put me on a liquid diet for just 24 hours and I nearly went nuts. Then I said I would give up alcohol. Okay, fair enough, it's not like I'm a drunkard anyway. But then I realised that my dear mum makes the best buns in the world and she uses either Dragon Stout or Red Stripe. Technically, I would be indulging in alcohol that way.

Hmm, this is tricky. Okay, how about giving up baked goods then? No wait, that won't work either because I love patties (which are baked, right?), with the recession we need bread because you never know when rice will get expensive, and sometimes you need a little pastry to keep your blood sugar level going. So forget that.

Maybe I should try giving up television? Naw, many of my ideas for this column come from stuff I see on the tube and, with the problems I've been having with my cable lately, I technically did a whole month without TV already. Giving up music was also a no-no because if I'm not listening to it, then I'm singing some song or have a song in my head.

I didn't even seem able to give up anything from a sports perspective. Can't give up the West Indies because they're finally doing better; can't give up the English team because I'm not English and forget about not supporting the netball team because they don't get enough respect from mawnin'. Fasting? Um, no because many relatives think I'm too skinny already. Give up getting angry? My outbursts are like my sinuses; I never know what will trigger them next.

So, after much thought, I decided to give up worrying about what people think about me. Yeah, that's it. I'll walk with my shoulders slumped, talk to myself in public and be as grumpy as I feel like. If that's okay with everybody else.

Leave me alone at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com.