D-Empress

As we race into the 'loove' month, hearts pumping, spirits soaring, the love theorists say we should be more alluring than ever. Scientifically, physically and well, even spiritually, it goes without saying that when you ignite the inner glow, it's magnetic.

Now I'm all for the glow, before, during and after, but maybe we need to think a little longer about the baggage the magical love connection brings.

The negative attracting the positive, or vice versa, is a tricky conversation in South Africa these days. For when we think of love - rising in love, being loved up, loving each other and its inherent risks - the positive is tinged with that difficult question, is he or isn't he HIV-positive? Is she or isn't she HIV positive? Statistics show that one in 10 people here knows his or her status, which leaves the scary reality of Russian roulette as we consider running through the love rain with or without a raincoat.

Behaviour change

The Soul City Institute, a health promotion and social change project based in South Africa, uses innovative television dramas, radio programming to work at the heart of the matter - behaviour change.

Just recently, I heard one of the Soul City senior executives eloquently outlining the task at hand on a local radio talk show. Her thoughts stopped me in my tracks. She outlined how the ABC of AIDS management (Abstinence, Be Faithful, Condomise) has failed to work because people are inconsistent in applying the rules. So condoms might be part of the mix in the early heady days of romance, but after three to six months of sexual relations, the condom is often relegated to those on the prowl. Negative HIV test not withstanding!

Soul City operates across eight countries in southern Africa and the clarion call is for conversation. The talk-show guest presented an idea which I found fascinating because it was so simple and at once ludicrous! But what if it could be done?

Proposal

This is what she proposed as a way forward: Picture the scene; Mr Philanderer calls his multiple concurrent partners to a meeting. Let's say he has four sistas in tow. He is concerned about his sexual health and he wants to make sure he's spreading the love responsibly.

So given the fact that he's rolling with four regular partners, he could consider the conversation. A discussion about how they can all work together to protect themselves as they share the love.

I'm still working on Act One of this almost farcical scene. But maybe it's not such an impossible scene. It probably begins with how he starts the conversation before the sistas become bed partners. The moral argument aside, let's face it: Most concubines know and often accept that they have company.

Would they be woman enough to be upfront and speak collectively about how each would protect the other? Would the brothers be man enough to step up to the plate? If so, I see room for many more fascinating conversations in the 'loove' month and way beyond.

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