Heartbreak

The Editor, Sir:

I'm somewhere between numbness and heartbreak at the news that a grandmother and her three young grandchildren in St Thomas were burned alive in the grandmother's home on Sunday night.

A mother is left mourning the loss of her three children and her own mother in one fell swoop. The police suspect murder. Apparently, the grandmother, a Ms Lynch, was involved in a dispute.

We cannot continue

There must be a better way. We can't continue to shoot, stab, burn and hack each other as a solution to disagreements. And those of us who are adults must lead the way because our children are reaping the whirlwind from the wind we are sowing.

We must understand that there are ways to resolve conflict that are constructive. We can attempt to explain our points of view. We can listen to the other person's perspective. We don't have to agree with it, but we can respect it. We can work towards a mutually beneficial solution if we talk, listen and figure out what the issue really is, and how best to deal with it.

We can walk away

We can agree to disagree. We can walk away if we realise that the disagreement is fundamental, based on our own principles and our value system.

We can choose our battles.

We can choose peace. Not denial, but an adult decision to do what is necessary to preserve dignity, relationship and community.

With divine help, we can forgive. Forgiveness means letting go. Forgiveness means acknowledging that someone harmed us, but we will not take revenge. Forgiveness means we will acknowledge our hurt, but we will not keep stoking the flames of the pain.

I am saddened that in a time when crime and violence have overtaken our beautiful country, there are increasingly fewer resources available to those agencies that can actually help us to figure out non-violent means of settling conflict.

I've been part of Peace and Love in Society, training various groups of people in conflict management and resolution. The principles and skills I learned and taught have actually been useful in my everyday life as I face conflict in interpersonal relationships as well as at the organisational level.

I'm rambling because I'm hurt. I know there is a better way. I know that many of us are angry, and when our hearts bleed, we want someone else to physically bleed, to go through pain because they have made us feel pain.

But there is a better way - a divine way, a practical way and we must take it.

I am, etc.,

NICOLE SHARPE

nesharpe@yahoo.com

Kingston