Hopefully, by some miracle, Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe will finally get a clue this year.
Miss Christmas came and went without a splash, and now Miss New Year, who is not pleased with what is going on around the world, would certainly like to see some changes. These are her desires for the next 12 months and after. Without the fulfilment of such, she is not going to be happy.
She wishes that the Jamaican railway be revived. The old buildings in downtown Kingston be demolished. A new Flat Bridge be built. That pyramid-scheme victims be repaid. Jamaican women stop wearing blonde, plastic wigs. The host of that popular TV show be replaced. She is boring to death. That Fluffy cover her fluff with a sheet. God give the angelic one a talent. The national motto be changed to 'Out of many, different peoples'. The speedy one get some linguistic lessons and dispense with his twang, fast. Those who live in glass houses move out.
A certain mayor finally get some power and grammar lessons. The grand dame of Jamaican politics stop attending parliamentary sittings late. Some politicians stop eating themselves to death. That they also find the political will to dismantle all garrisons. Man of the yard finally take charge of the financial affairs of the state. 'Golden Eye' stop being such a sourpuss. Someone take Robert Mugabe out of his misery. People give George Bush a break. It's not his fault. Talking about sins of the fathers. People stop calling Obama black.
And talking about black, Miss New Year wants to know what Obama, who's parading under the designation of first African American president-elect, is going to do about the negative connotations that are attached to anything that is black. His first task will be to expunge the following words and phrases from all dictionaries: black bag job, black bile, black book, black comedy, black economy, Black Hand, black humour, black knight, blacklist, black magic, blackmail, black mark, black market, black money, black sheep, black stump. And what about the meaning of the black on the Jamaican flag?
The 'bleachers' says it means "hardship there are" and that's why they are scrubbing every speck of it from their faces.
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