Dear Counsellor:

As 2009 starts, we usually decide to make resolutions to take us through the year. Each year I make resolutions to lose weight and tighten my muscles. However, after a few weeks I give up. How can I make these changes in my life and lose some weight?

- Amanda

Dear Amanda:

We all set goals and make commitments which are difficult to keep. Changes come daily in our lives and we have to be prepared to go with the flow. Burning the pounds is a good goal if you are overweight or obese.

Making commitments is good, but you need persistence and perseverance to carry you through. There are many changes involved in weight-loss management. It's best to have a personal coach to help you to carry out the programme. Some doctors are very helpful in this regard.

There are several components: behaviour, spirituality, nutrition and physical fitness. You will need constant encouragement and reassurance.

Don't bite off more than you can chew. Set small goals. Lose one pound every two weeks. Look at your diet programme and decide to reduce your intake of only two foods at the beginning. Plan to exercise for half-an-hour per week initially.

Review your goals monthly. Each day, write up a menu sheet that consists of the weight-reducing amounts of food eaten. Try new recipes. At the end of each month, tally the frequency of your physical activities. Reward yourself with non-food items.

Higher Power

Get connected to a Higher Power. Without this connection, you will feel powerless and helpless. You need to have a personal relationship with God so that your spiritual needs can be met. Count your blessings and refine your coping skills to battle stress more effectively. Pray daily and enjoy God's love, mercies and understanding. Keep a diary of all that is going well for you.

Psychotherapy is necessary and helpful. This assists in reviewing eating behaviour and emotions. Explore with a therapist childhood issues which are affecting you. Many of our bad adult habits were learnt during childhood. There may be unresolved issues with your parents and significant others. Sometimes there is latent anger or depression and talking with a trained therapist can help you to make changes and move on with your life.

Some people eat often because they are worried or nervous or fearful. You need to deal with these issues.

Emotional stress, faulty relationships and diet must be adequately dealt with before we effect lasting change. We may have good intentions to improve our lives but there are legacies of the past and current stresses that need to be excised and the wounds healed.

Therefore, when we make resolutions, we need to be committed to the cause and get help from others to be successful.

For advice on life, family and work stresses, call Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson at 978-8602 or email yvonniebd@hotmail.com.