D-Empress

How often have you heard parents lamenting that their children are wandering aimlessly through life with little sense of ambition?

Frustrated parents of children who have dared to go against the grain and etch out a unique space in the world often also harbour a sense of failure in not having fulfilled their parents' vision for them.

Recall the words by Lebanese poet, Khalil Gibran, in The Prophet, first published in 1924.

He wrote: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and the daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you but they are not from you and though they are with you, they belong not to you.

Understandable

The angst is understandable; it's only natural that we would want the best for our children. But maybe we set ourselves up for disappointment by typecasting our children's lives from the minute they are old enough to recite the alphabet.

Whatever religious doctrine you may subscribe to, the source books all speak of parent's responsibility to shepherd their children through life. Therefore, it is widely accepted that a parent's role is to love, guide and protect the offspring.

So relentless efforts to instil strong moral fibre, a robust work ethic and a sense of community register as a good success rating in the parenting realm. However, if as Gibran states, our children represent 'life's longing for itself', where do we draw the line? Who holds the destiny chalk, you or your children?

Gibran went on to say: You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in a place of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

Fittingly, these words, when set against the gloomy backdrop of current global financial crises, serve as an invitation for us to review our perspectives on parenthood. Gibran's tomorrow is now!

Speak to the 'wayward' children; those who respond to 'life's longing for itself' and you will hear stories of a journey deep with conflict as they wield a double-edged sword of respect for their parent's desires countered their soul's yearnings.

This leaves many tossing passion aside in search of a steady incomes no matter how soul destroying the career. Those brave enough to stick their necks out are often confused as they navigate through feelings of betrayal of parents' vision to pure joy as they touch their dream.

Is there room for a happy medium? Parenting styles that seek to nurture the soul's vision while laying the foundation blocks of ambition, drive and passion? We had better get ready to find it, because today our children say, yes, we can!

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