Dear Counsellor:

I am 43 years old and I am having a problem in my love life. I have difficulty getting an erection and I ejaculate quickly. This has been occurring quite often and my wife is getting upset with me. She thinks that I have lost interest in her and may actually be having an affair.

- Steven

Dear Steven:

Impotence is a common problem, which may be caused by physical and/or psychological factors.

Sometimes men suffer from performance anxiety. A man might experience a single episode of premature ejaculation, which subsequently triggers tension and anxiety about his performance. These emotions can cause premature ejaculation and so a cycle develops. Things generally worsen before they improve.

Might be impotent

Medical conditions can cause impotence and so too can medication. If you have hypertension or diabetes mellitus, it is possible that you might be impotent.

Erectile problems also arise in depression and anxiety. Depression is a common condition and males are usually unaware that they have this condition. Alcoholic males are usually depressed and have increased risk for impotence.

There are medical and psychological treatments for impotence. Medication is many and varied, so you need to see your doctor, who may refer you or prescribe medication. Feel free to talk with your doctor about your problem.

Children and sex

Dear Counsellor:

I have been hearing about the sexual activities of students at school. I have children and adolescents and I am keen on finding help to educate them about their sexuality.

- Lois

Dear Lois:

Sex talk is always entertaining for children and adolescents. Though forbidden, their interest is piqued, a curiosity which sometimes leads to experimentation.

Sex education starts from childhood and should be geared to helping individuals develop refusal skills, assertiveness and high self-esteem. Many youths lack knowledge, so they have to be taught about their bodies and the functions of their organs.

They should be taught that abstinence is key and they should learn self-control. Abstinence in modern society is not an easy task and we have to sell the health and spiritual benefits to the youth. When youths get involved in sexual activity, it causes them to lose focus on their schoolwork.

Risk of cervical cancer

Sexual activity increases the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection such as herpes, gonorrhoea, syphilis or AIDS. Women who have several sex partners are at risk for cervical cancer and demoralisation of their spirits.

Youths need to have a special relationship with God, which will help them have a healthy lifestyle. A daily relationship with God will help them and their friends abstain from sexual intercourse until marriage.

When people are in a committed relationship, which is legal, they are better able to deal with problems that will materialise. We all want to live healthy and feel fulfilled in our achievements. Early sexual activity comes with the consequence of unwanted pregnancies and induced abortions. The emotional turmoil and worry that are associated with teenage pregnancies and abortions are great and should be prevented. The impact of early sexual activity lasts a lifetime.

Abstinence has great benefits and this should be sold to the youths.

Call Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson at 978-8602 with your questions or email feedback to yvonniebd@hotmail.com.