As we celebrate World AIDS Day on December 1, sexual practices and HIV transmission come into sharp focus. Sex takes several forms for the sexual satisfaction of both partners. Sex preferences are between consenting adults but very often certain activities are encouraged even without consent from the other partner. One such activity is rough sex, which is likely to put partners at risk for HIV infection.

Men usually show their dominance by engaging their partners in rough sex as a demonstration of power. Very often, the men's actions are influenced by a race belief that all women enjoy rough sex as portrayed in the lyrics of a popular song 'gi mi de agony'. However, some women do not enjoy this practice as they find it painful and humiliating.

In society, the objectification of women is common. Very often, women pose as statues or as decoration for pieces of furniture in marketing campaigns. There is the traditional sex pose of women dressed in stiletto heels, meshed stockings with garters and bare buttocks. This position is designed to titillate men, many of whom come to expect all women to be the typical sex object.

Fantasies

The perspective as to why men enjoy subjecting their partners to rough sex is that it allows them to play out the fantasies they see in pornographic movies (blue movies). The multimillion-dollar business of porn thrives on the acting ability of the players in the movies demonstrating a false sense of sexual prowess.

Men also feel that they can exert dominance by using women as objects, and will resort to rough sex and even abduction and mock or simulated rape. Though non-consensual, rape is a serious crime, men will start out a consensual relationship in a passive way then move in to aggressive sex acts.

Cheap and unappreciated

Women view aggressive sex as being treated as a mannequin or a blow-up doll with an obligation to provide sexual services for men who make advances. Women find it difficult to enjoy impersonal, aggressive sex, as it makes them feel cheap and unappreciated after the sex act. Many women who engage in cheap sex acts feel that they have to be nothing more than an object, at the mercy of a stranger who only uses them for his own gratification, risking the personal safety of his partners. Women must take precautions for their personal safety and health needs, both in body and from the risk of HIV infection.

Aggressive sex is enjoyed by women who are hedonistic and get an unexplainable joy from the humiliation of being used. Some women enjoy painful intercourse. Even those who appear frail and weak enjoy rough sex, as it helps them reach orgasm, providing the sexual satisfaction they desire. Some women enjoy the teeth being used as a sex tool for biting, an essential component of rough sex.

Arrested for rape

Abduction and rape are committed as criminal offences through aggressive sex. Some men get arrested for rape, simply by satisfying their own fantasies and needs over meeting the needs and expectations of their women in temporary or permanent unions. Unsatisfied women will cry 'rape', placing their men behind bars without any remorse for the arrest.

Making a report to the police gives women the satisfaction to use their power to send a message that 'you don't use me in that way, humiliate me and leave me'. Women may not be raped but end up being beaten and given rough, dirty sex during dominance and submission play.

It is well established that the most common form of HIV transmission is through sexual intercourse with infected blood semen or vaginal fluids from any infected person or his or her sexual partner. Unprotected aggressive, rough sex increases the risk of HIV transmission through broken skin which may bleed and pass on HIV infection.

Poverty

Contact with blood and a mucous membrane is a high risk of transmitting HIV if one partner is infected. Women are at risk for other sexually transmitted diseases, many of which go undiagnosed. This contributes to a higher rate of HIV transmission. Poverty, lack of education, poor access to health care and jobs further contribute to women's lack of power and control over decision making.

As men continue to demonstrate real power over their women, the call to action is for women to love their bodies. Many women have negative feelings about their bodies. As such, they resort to the use of cosmetics and cosmetic procedures and risqué sexual activities as a substitute for self-love. For good mental and physical health it is important for women to learn to feel and love their feelings and their bodies.

Young people

HIV infection is increasing among young people ages 20-29 many of whom are liberal in their sexual liaisons, with little regard for safety from sexually transmitted infections through rough sex and other aggressive forms of sex most often used as entertainment. Sex without a condom has the greatest risk for spreading HIV. Young persons should not allow alcohol or drugs let then forget to protect themselves. Sexually active persons can still gain sexual satisfaction without penetrative sex by fantasising, masturbating or giving non-sexual massages. These activities pass no sexual fluids so there is no risk of transmitting HIV.

For those who enjoy aggressive sex, efforts should be made to negotiate the terms of the sexual relationship, including having HIV tests in advance and the use of condoms for every episode of intercourse, from start to finish. The way forward for a reduction in HIV transmission requires frank communication between partners to decide on safer sex practices, even when aggressive sex is a factor. It requires deciding how much risk to take, using different kinds of sexual activities. Of course, the bottom line is that HIV infection can occur during sexual activity but the risk is greater during unprotected sex in aggressive sexual activities.