He was charming, and he bought me a drink and complimented me on my appearance. The following night he took me to dinner, and we had a wonderful evening.

A few days later I agreed to go to bed with him - provided he used a condom. He consented to this.

But in the bedroom, he was like no other guy I have met. He did want to have intercourse with me, but while we were doing it, he wanted me to say things like 'You're no good!' and 'You are a useless lover!'

I found this real odd, doctor. And I did not like saying these insulting things to him.

Well, next time we met he gave me a written list of things that he wished me to say in the bedroom. They included:

'You are a pathetic man'

'You are hopeless in bed'

'Your organ is too small for me!'

I really could not do this! In fact, halfway through the evening, I got up, got dressed and walked out. I had found the whole thing very strange.

On the other hand, I do like the guy. And he has asked me to marry him.

Any advice, doc? Is there something wrong with him? And if so, could I get him treated?

A Well, this man is heavily into something that is called 'submission/domination,' or 'sub/dom.' In other words, he wants to be submissive to a woman, while she 'dominates' him.

That is real common in some countries, like the United States and England. In fact, in those parts of the world there are ladies who make a good living by charging money to dominate males! A woman who does this as a career is called a 'dominatrix'.

But there are not many guys in Jamaica who like that sort of thing. Indeed, I am wondering if this man is from overseas.

I suppose it would be fair to call this rather strange desire a 'kink', though perhaps not an actual illness. Treatment would be very difficult, partly because these men do not want to be treated by a psychiatrist. They actually feel that they are pretty normal.

Why are they like this?

Psychologists are not sure, but it seems very likely that it is all due to something that happened to them when they were small, at a time when they were being ordered around by their mothers.

As a result, guys who are like your new boyfriend spend their lives wanting to be 'bossed about' in the house, and to be told to do all the washing and cleaning. Generally, the more work a woman gives them to do, the more they like it. Amazingly, they get sexual satisfaction from this.

And - as you have discovered - in bed they like to be insulted and told that they are no good. Some of them want their partners to hit them.

Could you have a future with this guy? Bearing in mind the fact that treatment is unlikely to be a possibility, I think that it could be a very difficult relationship for you to handle. Unless you really want to spend the rest of your life shouting insults and making fun of his lovemaking skills, I think maybe you should tell him 'goodbye' - and look elsewhere for a partner.

Q I am a guy of 42 and I have 'pressure'. Is it safe for me to continue having sex with my wife?

A Yes, certainly. Sex will do you no harm. But please make sure that you take your blood pressure pills each day.

Q I get terrible pain with my menses, and also whenever I have sex. I have now been told that this is due to something called 'endometriosis'.

Doc, what is that 'endome-triosis' thing?

A I promised that I would return to the subject of endometriosis this week, because it is so common - particularly in women age over 30.

It is a condition in which pieces of 'womb lining' turn up in the wrong place, in the lower part of a woman's body. So each month, these little pieces of tissue try to menstruate. But they cannot - because there is nowhere for the blood to go.

The result is intense pain at period times. And often there is pain during sex.

Fortunately, endometriosis can be treated, with painkilling pills and with modern drugs that affect the hormones. And often, a surgeon-specialist can operate to remove the abnormal tissue. So I am sure that the docs WILL be able to help you beat this disease!

Q Doctor, I am a businessman, and on a trip to New York earlier this month I met a nice young lady and went to bed with her.

Now, I suddenly find that I have intense pain in passing urine, plus a discharge. Could I have picked up some infection?

A You certainly have. These are the symptoms of gonorrhoea ('the clap') - or possibly of urethritis.

Please see a doc right away for tests and treatment. Please: no sex until you have been cured.

Q Doc, to settle an argument with my friend, how long should a woman's menses last?

A Three or four days is good. If the period goes on for much longer than that, there is a risk of becoming anaemic - because of the blood loss.

Q I am male, age 47, and I have suddenly realised that I am only having sex around twice for the week. I am sure I used to manage at least five times per week.

Is this the beginning of a slow decline, as I fear?

A Twice a week is in fact slightly above average for a guy of 47. Keep yourself fit, and you will be OK.

Q I am a woman who has spots and excessive hairiness on the face. Could you give me some good advice?

A It is possible that you have a fairly common condition called 'polycystic ovary syndrome'. Please go to a doc and have an examination and some hormone tests. I am sure you can be helped.

Q I am a 28-year-old lady who is planning to get married. But I have a serious discharge problem. The discharge is very smelly. I even have to use tampons to hide the odour.

I have been treated many times for yeasts, but the treatment does not seem to help.

A This must be real distressing for you. My guess is that you don't have yeasts. The odds are that you have a common condition called 'bacterial vaginosis' (BV).

This causes a vile-smelling discharge, and is real upsetting for the woman. The usual treatment is with a drug called 'metronidazole'. Please go to a doctor who will examine you, send off some tests, and (if the doc agrees that you have BV), prescribe the metronidaziole for you. Good luck for your forthcoming wedding.

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