Jamaica Gleaner
Published: Sunday | November 30, 2008
Home : Arts &Leisure
The cunning Mass Fawni
Patricia Whittle, Contributor

Miss May and Miss Icy were talking when he passed. He grunted a greeting and strutted along the street.

Miss May looked at him and told Miss Icy that her spirit could never take that man.

"Yu know that last week him stop mi pickney a road and tell her fi show him the money a gave her to come shop?"

Miss Icy became very interested. "Then what the child did?"

"She give him the money. Him give her back, but a tell her never to ever ..."

"How much money was it?" asked Miss Icy?

"It was $50."

Miss Icy let out a sigh of relief that puzzled Miss May. "What a cruel crocodile of a crook!" she lamented over and over again. "Yu know how long I been trying to solve this puzzle! If him ever set foot in mi shop again, a swear a going to do something a sorry for!"

This is what happened.

One day Mama sent Betty to the shop.

"Come here Betty," she called. "Run to the shop and buy some flour for me. The pot is on the fire already."

Betty took the $50 bill and ran towards the shop. On her way she met Mass Fawni.

"Good morning Mass Fawni," she said as she passed him.

"Morning Betty," he replied. "Where are you going in such a hurry? Mind car hit yu!"

Betty laughed. "I always walk on the right side of the road Sir. Mama warned me to be careful."

"Good girl," Mass Fawni said. "I know you are smart. How much money yu have in yu hand?"

"Fifty dollars," answered Betty.

"Are you sure?" asked Mass Fawni. Let me see it."

Now Betty was not so smart, for she gave the $50 to him and when she was not looking he marked an x on the bill.

"You are really smart," he flattered her. "It is $50 all right. Hurry up and get the goods for your mother."

Betty hurried to the shop and purchased the flour for her mother. She gave the money to Miss Icy, the shopkeeper, collected her change and headed home. Mama was pleased that she came back so quickly.

As soon as she left the shop, Mass Fawni entered and headed straight for the counter.

"Good morning, Miss Icy," he greeted the shopkeeper.

"Good Morning, Mass Fawni," she replied.

Mass Fawni wasted no time. "Sell me a pound of rice and a tin of sardine," he said.

Miss Icy weighed the rice in a plastic bag and rested it on the counter. She then took a tin of sardine from the shelf and handed both items to Mass Fawni.

While Miss Icy worked, Mass Fawni engaged her in an argument.

"Then Miss Icy, what a way the crime rate high! Yu listen to the news this morning? I don't know what this world coming to."

"Times really getting serious," Miss Icy responded. "Too many people out of work and the Devil find work for idle hands." As she talked she gave the goods to Mass Fawni, then held out her hand to collect the money. "That will be $45," she told him.

"A pay yu already," Mass Fawni told her with an innocent smile on his face.

"No, I did not get any money from you," Miss Icy said. " I might be getting old, but my head is not taking water. Look in your pocket and see if the money is still there. The rice and the sardine cost $45."

Mass Fawni became very angry. He was really a good actor! "Please for my change!" he demanded. Money does not grow on trees. I gave you $50, so I want my $5 change."

Other customers were now in the shop, waiting for the misunderstanding to be settled so they could be served. They had no idea who was telling the truth.

Mass Fawni singled out Mass Tom and started telling him his side of the story. "Is the last $50 a have in mi name a give to this woman," he confided in Mass Tom.

"Don't call me woman!" said Miss Icy. "I have a name."

Mass Fawni ignored her and continued to acquaint Mass Tom with his problem. A even draw x in the middle of the $50 bill a gave to her."

"Liar!" shouted Miss Icy, "You gave me no money!"

"Look inside yu till if yu don't find the $50 a just gave to yu," advised Mass Fawni. " A mark x in the middle of it."

"Yes Miss Icy, just look, for we want serve," pleaded Miss Mary, one of the customers.

Miss Icy opened the till and took out two $50 notes. She examined them and a puzzled look crept on her face. Just as Mass Fawni had said, there was an x in the middle of one of the notes.

Mass Fawni looked relieved. "I told you I gave you the money," He said. "Maybe yu had something on yu mind, Miss Icy. It sometimes happen to the best of us."

With that he collected his change, leaving Miss Icy very puzzled and quite disgruntled.

As Mass Fawni hurried home with the goods he had dishonestly acquired, he complimented himself on how smart he was. He had tricked Miss Icy and everybody thought it was a genuine error on her part. He would go and cook his rice and sardine and plot his scheme for getting food another time.

Miss Icy, however, could not get the incident out of her mind. She was certain that Mass fawni had given her no money. She wondered how the marked money got inside the till. She decided that from now on, she would keep a keen eye on this man, Mass Fawni.



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