"WHICH way are you coming from?" the voice over the phone enquired.

"OK, take the Junction road and when you reach St Mary, follow all the bays, Annotto Bay, Buff Bay, Orange Bay and, on the way to Hope Bay, you'll see our sign on the right."

The ride from St Andrew, 'town', to Somerset Falls in Portland lasted approximately two hours, due largely to work being done on the North Coast Highway.

The sign to the main entrance read, in part, '... a little piece of heaven'. Yeah right, haven't we heard that before?

The quaint front desk, at the entrance to the property, was manned by the voice over the phone, and she was enthused we had "made it".

No vendors

There were no touts, pushy vendors with souvenirs or anybody offering a massage, just Gracie in her little office.

We were still looking for signs of a waterfall, but saw nor heard any, and were instead intrigued by the Jurassic Park-looking foliage, huge trees, which formed a canopy over the short, private road and as far as the eyes could see into the lush property. It was all natural growth.

On the way in, Gracie warned us to look out for the almond tree, which she nicknamed 'the missile' due to the velocity at which the ripened fruits fell, from what must be more than 100 feet.

A walk along the cobblestone driveway took us past an aviary, exotic birds on either side, before the first sign of a fall appeared on the left, but it was a miniature one, leaving one to wonder, 'hey, where are the falls?'

The falls

The falls were a must the following day, and Mark took us on a canoe ride to what must be one of the island's most scenic waterfalls.

The canoe comfortably seated six, with Mark needing a single oar to guide us upriver to the falls.

Heaven took on a new meaning, as ducks glided by, little river crabs scampered to higher ground and the vegetation got richer as Mark got closer to the falls.

When we eventually reached the cascading falls, Mark skilfully guided the canoe to its mooring inside the falls, making us feel as if we were straight out of a scene in The Last of the Mohicans when the stars hid inside the bowels of a scenic fall.

Rock formations, shaped by the falls, depicted everything imaginable, from crocodiles to human forms.

Mark invited his guests out of the canoe and showed how the falls could be used for either aggressive or gentle massage, depending on its force at various points.

For the adventurous swimmers, the pool inside the falls goes down 24 feet, providing high-diving thrills, under Mark's watchful eyes.

Never mind the work on the North Coast Highway. However, by the time the highway is finished, it will be hard to book a room at Somerset Falls, which is ultra-quiet, scenic and idyllic.

Entertainment resort

Resident manager, Winston Cottrell, described Somerset as an entertainment resort, which is ideal for fun days for schools, churches and just about any group.

Cottrell said Somerset also welcomes weddings, parties, stage shows, company meetings or just a plain getaway from city life, much closer than Ocho Rios, Montego Bay and Negril.

Additional activities include a children's play area, complete with a pool already set up, and set to come on stream; horseback riding and gazebos by the river and sea.

Opening hours are from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Somerset Falls is still a steal at US $100 (or J$7000) per night for the Riverside rooms and US$250 for the luxurious cottage.

General admission to the falls is $500 for adults and $250 for children 6-14 years old. It is open all week.

Another scenic section of Somerset Falls, showing off its vegetation. - Contributed photos

A section of Somerset Falls in all its natural and unspoilt glory.

Somerset Falls in all its splendour, as water roars down one of the many interesting rock formations.

The cascading waters of Somerset Falls has a tranquilising effect.

Looking out from inside the cavern, which houses the crystal-clear pool at Somerset Falls. At left is a 'water massage' area of the falls, where patrons can allow the cascading waters to fall freely on to their backs, while lying face down on the huge rock pictured.

It's not all about thundering waterfalls at Somerset, but also quiet, rustic scenes.