Q I was happy to find a column in the paper that deals with the concerns of parents and gives advice to parents like myself. Thank you.

I have a five-year-old son who has been struggling for some time now. His speech acquisition was slow. At age three, we had his hearing tested as recommended by his doctor, in the event that he needed speech therapy. The test showed that he was OK, so we took him to McCam's where he was tested again to see what was the problem. They told us that his cognition skills were poor, but he did not have attention deficit disorder. He has made a lot of improvement since then. He speaks well and can relate better.

My problem now, though, is that I am worried that because he started out late, he will always be behind in school. He hates bookwork and it is hard to keep him focused. All he wants to do is play and talk about cars or cartoons. I have tried a lot of reinforce-ment tech-niques, such as having him do his schoolwork before he watches tele-vision or gets to play with his car and rewarding him when he does his work. I can't even get him to spell his name much less write it.

His teachers complain that they can't get him to settle in class. His father pushes him to do the things he should be doing, but I think it has a negative effect on him, because he is not improving. To me, he hates doing bookwork even more and he fears his father.

I am very over protective because of his situation and I worry a lot. I have been trying to find a specialist to take him to, but I am not sure what I should be doing. His father and I broke up when he was about one and I think that this has affected him as well. What should I do?

PS: He has very good motor skills.

A It is wonderful to know that he has good motor skills as we can use these skills to help him to learn better. You need to get his reading and maths skills tested again so that his teachers will be sure of his current ability level and teach him at that level. He may currently be frustrated as the special help that he should be getting he is not receiving.

It will not be easy, but a reward system that is consistent must be maintained for him to develop basic learning skills. Both yourself and Dad need to be counselled regarding his diagnosis to help you understand the diagnosis he was given. For example, was he identified as learning disabled, slow learner or another disorder? The more you understand what his diagnosis is, the easier it will be for you to help him.

Q I am a mother of four boys and I noticed that my youngest son, who is now 10 years old, is very lazy. The other boys are all in good high schools and doing well. My husband died two years ago from diabetes, and we got counselling and things seemed fine. The 10-year-old does not want to go to school or help around the house.

A If he is comfortable with the counsellor you previously went to, you may want to renew sessions to determine what is going on. Please check with his teacher to see if anything has happened at school that may be causing him distress.

Having problems with your children? Write to Ask the Doc, c/o The Gleaner, 7 North Street, Kingston, fax 922-6223 or email: helpline@gleanerjm.com. Dr Orlean Brown-Earle, child psychologist and family therapist, has the solutions in The Gleaner's Positive Parenting feature on Mondays.